As a Victorian woman, I don’t consider my sexuality a large part of my identity. However, I know that is an important part of others’ identities, so I will address it in the interest of presenting myself completely to others.
I am sexually conservative, to say the least, although I am tired of being made to feel “prudish” for it. For a woman of my time period, my diminished, near-nonexistent sex drive is perfectly normal. I have, in past, used the term asexual to describe myself, but I have never felt fully comfortable in it. The problem is that I do not identify with the modern spectrum. When I come from, it’s pretty much expected that women don’t have a strong or compelling desire for sex. It is not that I identify as sexual or asexual, I just identify as a Victorian lady. I don’t want to usurp the terminology of other minorities to describe an aspect of my transtemporalism.
I am, naturally, a virgin. I do not personally believe in premarital sex, but I do intend to marry and carry on a lifelong sexual relationship…which (I believe) is not true of most asexuals. It is very frustrating to be a transtemporal, because so few Moderns share this view and I feel very isolated in it. The only Moderns I have met who don’t believe in premarital sex are devoutly religious and view it as a matter of morality.
While it would offend the personal standards I hold myself too, I don’t see it as a moral question for Moderns. If you are a twenty-first century soul and you want to have sex, or copious amounts sex, or any sort of queer sex, that is a personal choice not a “good” or “bad” action. Sex itself is amoral in this society, so if you are from this time period, I fully respect whatever relationship you choose to have with sex. That being said, I am not in the same position. Victorian social standards are impressed on my soul, and there really is no choice for me.